Super Quick-Fast Post. Quick Like a Cat! But Not Actually a Cat...

Let's make this quick...
Okay, let's review.
Rob and Monica got married. It was lovely, the weather more than cooperated. It was a gorgous day. Everyone had a great time at the reception (some people had TOO good a time) and I even made a toast. They got a bunch of stuff from their registry, but most importantly in the eyes of Man and God they are husband and wife. Congratulations, you two. May the years of your lives be as long as they are happy. Mazel tov!
Now to the important stuff. The Bengals lost to Tampa Bay, but they beat Carolina! So, we're 4 and 2. Tied with the Ravens. But I'm not impressed with the Ravens yet. So, we'll see what happens. The best news is how shitty Pittsburgh is. They're 2 and 4 and rapidly playing their way out of contention. And Roethlisberger is hurt, again. He's going to play, but he probably won't play very well. Things are proceeding nicely on that front.
Erin McKeown's new album came out (on iTunes) and it is awesome! There are one or two songs that are a little too slow and boring for me, but a solid 10 of the songs are really enjoyable. And at least 3 of those are positive keepers. "Sing You Sinners" is the name of the album and the title track, which is excellent, it's one of those top three. Get Happy is a fun, bouncy song, full of energy. My favorite song on this album, though, has to be "Rhode Island Is Famous For You". Just an awesome, awesome song. Very clever, and Erin performs it absolutely brilliantly. The performances are never a drawback on any of these songs, sometimes the song just isn't my personal preference, that's all. Great, great album. I can't stop listening to "Rhode Island Is Famous For You".
Jesus Camp was very disturbing.
Mills lent me The Kite Runner and it was pretty good. I saw several of the author's plot points well in advance, but the writing itself was well done and the characters themselves, even if a bit cliched, were very likable, even when they shouldn't be. A very good job of showing each character to best advantage at some point. Characters that start out as unsympathetic manage to redeem themselves. Except for one particular pyschopath. The book is nothing new or startlingly original, but that's hardly a crime. If you like coming of age type books, this might be one to check out.
Anyway, small political section. I think it is hilarious how the Bush Administration is now starting to change history again. Now our plan in Iraq is not simply "Stay The Course" but a constantly shifting menu of options customized and tailored for each evolving set of circumstances. Oh really?! Well, good. I guess. Except so far it sounds like the same bullshit with a new coat of paint and possibly a bunch more troops, from somewhere. Don't know where they'll find them. If they're not just rearranging the deck furniture on a certain famous ship that met with a tragic end, then this sounds like they're positioning themselve for a phased pull out of troops. The explanation should be itneresting, since they claim that Iraq is a vital front in the war on terror and that we're fighting there, so that we won't have to fight here. Logically, doesn't that mean that if we pull out of Iraq, we'll end up fighting in the streets over here? That sounds retarded to me, but I'm not the one that peddles that BS. Shouldn't they have to explain why it's now okay to pull out of Iraq? Why it is no longer an essential battle in the war on terror and how they plan to keep the jihadists out of the U.S. without Iraq to distract them? I mean, the truth is that there is no jihadist capability to fight in the U.S. the way they fight in Iraq and that our invasion of Iraq created the very force we're now fighting and that it was basically the equivalent of putting big glowing neon targets on our troops' backs' and shoving them into a pitch black room. While our military is here, guarding our shores, there's no way for jihadists or terrorists to reach them, or us, on any basis more frequent than once every 5-10 years. And that's if we stop paying attention. If we send our whole army to the Middle East of course... well, they're sitting ducks then.
But we won't hear that from Bush of course. Most likely they'll just pretend they never said anything like that. Ugh. Post Over.

Big Aristotle Rides Again!

In Search of an October Surprise

Sorry, Mills, but we're back to the anti-Republican ranting.

This rant is more justified than most because it is about Bush's absolutely unforgiveable North Korea non-policy. This may very well end up being what kills us all. It is completely unbelievable to me that he doesn't have a North Korea policy. What he has is a refusal to have a policy. Unfortunately, with a problem like this, a country doing something you want them to stop doing, diplomatic options are limited. You have to pick one, or a combination, of three options. Negotiations, diplomatic/economic sanctions, or simple threats. That is, you can bribe them, punish them, or attack them. That's about all there is. Bush has refused to do any of them.

Well, we've had threats aplenty actually. But threats don't do any good if you never back any of them up. That's why I said this was the "attack them" option. If you threaten and threaten but don't actually attack... Well in that case all threats actually accomplish is to make you look either weak or retarded, or in Bush's case, both.

Let's review the history of North Korea's nuclear program: During the original Bush administration intelligence sources learn that North Korea has a nuclear reactor and a program to enrich the plutonium from this reactor into weapons-grade nuclear material suitable for atomic missiles or hydrogen bombs or whatever you want to call them. For whatever reason (it may have been too late into Bush I's only term) nothing is done about this program. Clinton becomes president. It takes him about 15 seconds to decide that negotiations are the way to go in this matter. Baldly put, Clinton cut them a deal. We would ship North Korea fuel oil and food aid assist in construction of two light water (civilian energy only) nuclear reactors. In return North Korea shut down its plutonium reactor and put the fuel rods it was enriching into a cooling storage pond, both with international inspectors camped on them at all times. This became known as the "Agreed Framework" and it kept the North Korean nuclear program on ice (more or less) for Clinton's entire presidency. Cut to 2002. George W. Bush is now president and intelligence sources learn (or believe with high confidence for whatever that's worth) that North Korea now has a program to enrich URANIUM into weapons grade material. Now, this program is far behind the plutonium program Clinton shut down, if it even exists. The Bushies denounce this hypothetical program as a violation of the Agreed Framework and discontinue the aid shipments and construction on the two reactors (which the incredibly COMPETENT Clinton administration had never actually gotten around to building for North Korea). The North Koreans say fine, kick out the inspectors, restart their reactor and resume enriching their existing plutonium. The Bush administration adamantly refuses to talk to the North Koreans without every other asian nation in the room with them. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but they insist on a 6-way discussion between N. Korea, S. Korea, us, Russia, China and Japan. No one knows what this is supposed to accomplish, but what it actually does accomplish is clear. Nothing.

Alright, not quite true, 4 years later, what it has "accomplished" is an insane dictatorship with no regard for its own citizens well-being, that now has conducted at least semi-successful ballistic missile and atomic weapons tests. But after all, the more retarded of you might say, why should the Bush Administration REWARD North Korea's outragous behavior with the amazing blessing of actually sitting down and talking to them face to face without 4 superfluous chaperones in the room? Well, basically, because negotiation is not a reward for anything, it's basic diplomacy. Insisting that they shut down their nuclear program before we'll even talk to them one on one is a simple-minded trick that not even a baby would fall for. It's like saying, we would like you to do what we want because we say so. Then we'll agree to talk to you and tell you why we wanted you to do it. Once they shut down their nuclear program, what do we want to talk to them for? They've already done what we want! Are you saying that we'll bribe them only after they accede to our demands? What makes that better than bribing them before they do it? As long as it gets done, I mean?

But North Korea always violates their agreements! They violated the Agreed Framework! We can't trust them! Jesus. Of course we can't trust them! They're North Fucking Korea not goddamn St. Francis of Assisi! That's what the fucking inspectors and our incredibly overpaid intelligence agencies are for. To tell us they're cheating so we can make them stop, or else we'll cut off our shipments. You don't just cut off the shipments and then tell them to shape up. Because they won't do it. They're nuts. We know what they'll do now, because they've already done it, but it's not like it was hard to predict, unless you're a moron.

But we're the United States! Why should we have to bribe some podunk, no-account, third-world country that can't even feed itself?! Let's send in the troops and kick some ass!! Uh, yeah. We have to bribe them because the other two options are basically impossible. Clinton knew this, and no offense, but 6 years in it's rapidly becoming clear that he's way smarter than Bush will ever be. You can't try to punish North Korea with sanctions diplomatic or economic because they're already over the edge. They have diplomatic relations with South Korea and China, and I think that might be it. And economic sanctions are basically the same. Their economy is laughable. It's like threatening to punish a homeless kid by taking away his toys. If he had any toys, he might start worrying. Basically they don't have anything to sanction. Their diplomacy is practically non-existent, and the only country that could legitimately threaten their economy is China, and China won't do it. China could flick a switch and all the lights in North Korea would go out. They could send North Korea back to the Stone Age without firing a shot. But they'll never do it. Because unlike us, they worry about what happens to countries when they fall apart with nothing in place to put them back together. Plus, they have a border with North Korea. If North Korea falls apart, and they will eventually, it's China and South Korea that are going to have to clean up the mess. China's North Korea policy is basically to put that off as long as possible, and keep the mess as small as possible. Unfortunately, now, thanks to Bush, that mess is probably going to include nukes. Is it fair to blame Bush for this when China could probably stop this with a few words. Well, perhaps not.

But the fact is that the other side of China's North Korea policy is to use them as a sort of attack dog/bargaining chip in their dealings with the United States, since everyone knows who holds North Korea's leash. And additionally, well, guess what? The world isn't fair. China is not our friend, they're North Korea's friend. They're not going to help us. When you compare Bush to Clinton (which maybe isn't fair either) it is just so obvious. Clinton didn't wait around for China to save our bacon, he did what he had to do, what was best for the United States, even if it meant doing some troubling deals with one of the shadiest regimes on the planet. Was it our finest hour? No. But it worked.

But what about option number three? Why can't we attack them and end their nuclear program by force? Well, let's just say that they're not Iraq. North Korea has a million man army with relatively sophisticated equipment. A heavily fortified border and a very large and powerful ally (China) at their back. The likelihood is that if we attacked North Korea we would very rapidly have China to deal with as well. Could we beat them both? Well, maybe. Our conventional forces are certainly more advanced than anything either of them has, although they would be considerably outnumbered and fighting on the enemy's home ground. It would certainly be a disaster for both sides, whoever ended up winning. And that's leaving China's nuclear arsenal out of the equation. THAT war could end as a disaster for our entire species. And for what? So we don't have to give North Korea food and fuel oil? Look at it as Christian charity motherfuckers! Goddamit.

Anyway, however well our military might do against North Korea's, it's definitely a moot point while that same military is fighting two seperate wars on the other side of the continent and hypothetically gearing up for a third in Iran if the Administration is dumb enough to start it. Leaving the issue of whether we could win against North Korea aside, a war with them right now is flat out impossible and is an incredibly nasty prospect at the best of times. Especially if we can buy them off so cheaply.

My guess now is that the price has probably gone up over the past six years. Good job, Bush Administration! It is absolutely necessary that we elect a Democratic Congress in November. Anything to limit the damage. Fortunately, this looks more and more like a reality every day.

Okay, a few more quick notes. The second episode of Veronica Mars was great. Better than the first episode. A little more Logan, though still used sparingly. Still no Weevil. Interesting plot and sub-plot. And another instance in which Veronica ends up confronting the essential dishonesty of a lot of what she does.

On a somewhat embarassing note, Mills and Alex were over here tonight to help me clean out my bathroom. At first I wasn't sure what the big deal was, but once we started scrubbing it became apparent that I had greatly underestimated the problem. I still have a bit of work to do there, but at least now I know. And knowing's half the battle! Thanks guys!

Oh, I should mention Rob's bachelor thing. Rob is marrying Monica on Saturday, so this past Tuesday, a bunch of us took him to BD's Mongolian Grill. Man, I love that place. I think (hope) that he really enjoyed it and that we managed to surprise him. Practically everyone showed up and a good time was had by all. Even Matt was able to have a sundae of some kind, a Bavarian Pretzel Roll and some beer. Congratulations, Rob.

I keep meaning to say something about Nintendo's Wii. It's coming out next month and it looks awesome. Unfortunately, Nintendo's reputation is for tragically under-supporting the coolest features of the hardware it creates. At the end of the day, they make games, not hardware. With that said, it's hard to see how this can miss as the most important features are built in this time around. They'll have to support them as their whole system is built around things like the new remote style controller and the wireless itnernet connectivity. And the virtual game store is just that, a GAME store, for games that they already have, old Nintendo classics. Surely they won't mess this up. November 17th. Get ready. Alright, I'm done. Time to go to sleep.

Simon Belmont, over and out.

Red Alert!

Holy Christ! I just got namechecked in some stranger's blog! Does anyone know the etiquette involved here? Here's the background. One of my friends... we'll call her Laurie M. - no, let's call her L. Marhoefer, has a blog that I and several of her friends and relations that I don't know, or at least don't know well post on. Anyway, she also has links to the blogs of a couple of these unknown friends up on her blog and I occasionally wander over and read the latest. Imagine my surprise when I saw that one of them had posted a new entry and read this:

I recently introduced my little sister to YSA's blog. Naturally, she was enchanted. Horrifyingly, she was particularly taken with one of YSA's frequent commentators, a bane on my existence known as "Kid Showbusiness". Of course I had to set her straight.

CBAM: we do not support kid showbusiness's comments
CBAM: he is mean to me!
LS: i can't help it
LS: they are so funny
CBAM: no!
......

LS: ewwwww i don't like when kid showbusiness is mean to my sissy
LS: fuck him

So.... does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do? Is it considered "beyond the pale" to just randomly post a response on someone's blog uninvited - even if the post you're responding to is at least peripherally about you? Or does the fact that she's posted the thing up for the whole internet (in theory at least) to see constitute an invitation for me to respond if I happen to see it? I'm undecided as to the correct course of action and so I invite your input.
Oh, and just to set the record straight, I am not "mean" to her. I have, on occasion, held her up to a certain amount of ridicule, purely in jest, as I have with you all at one time or another. But honestly, normally I don't actually even explicitly acknowledge anyone else's posts over there. I mostly confine myself to addressing the person who's actual blog it is and her actual blog posts.
And I'm not looking to get into some kind of flame war or whatever, I just think that a response of some kind may be called for. Or should I refrain? Advise me, oh wise and noble internet personages! Gracias.

Kid Showbusiness departs....

A Quick Note That Rapidly Got Out of Hand

I realized today that I forgot to mention the new season of Veronica Mars in my last post. The first episode on Tuesday was, in a word, excellent. I really enjoyed it, as I almost always do. I was initially disappointed that it didn't pick up immediately from where last season left off, but I got over this rather quickly. Tantalizing references to what's happened in the interval are all we've gotten so far, which is fine, it IS a mystery show after all. Still, it is a little strange how little was cleared up and how much less was resolved in this episode. The main story of the episode gets taken care of, but all the threads left over from last season are still dangling, which is fine I guess. But some weren't even mentioned! For instance, why was there absolutely no mention of Weevil? Oh well, as I said, I still loved the episode and if this thread-dangling is an indication of increasing ambition on the show's part (they're actually introducing new potential threads before they've even touched most of the danglers) then it could be a very good thing. I just wanted to go on record about the show and suggest that anyone that may read this and yet doesn't watch Veronica Mars (possibly a non-existent category) needs to start watching. Starting now.

Time for today's Foleygate Update. Well, not a whole lot that's new. The gist of the laughable Republican response is starting to come clear. As usual, it's a mixture of obfuscation, finger-pointing and outright lies. In the obfuscation department we have the right-wing bloggers who are on a mission and have exhumed every story involving a Democratic congressman and sex with a minor for the past 30 years. There's only about 4. I'm going to come straight out and admit that I haven't actually researched their claims, relying on their general complete unreliability. However, according to the bloggers themselves, 2 or 3 of these guys they mention (including Barney Frank, who's still in Congress) were re-elected repeatedly following these stories. The bloggers are trying to draw a distinction between how Democrats treat "their" pedophiles and the way the Republicans have all turned on Foley with admirable hyena-like instincts. However, I find it hard to believe that the Democratic Party's response to these stories was that statutory rape is okay and that the voters agreed with them... over and over again. I find it more likely that these stories are either only stories or else that the shades were a lot greyer than in the case of a 52 year old Congressman explicitly propostioning 16 year old pages that worked in the House.

As far as finger-pointing goes, well that's a Republican specialty. There's the usual every man for himself intra-leadership squirmfest, with every man's hand firmly pointed at his brother. So, the big loser in the blame game looks to be Hastert. As speaker, he's the man at the top, the head rat so to speak, and these other rats all have variations on the "I tried to warn him, but he wouldn't listen" refrain. How noble that makes these other guys look I'll leave to the voters of their districts, but there's no question that it's not helping Hastert. Of course, even with all the fratricide, they still have time to try and blame the Democrats for their own mess. I've heard 4 or 5 seperate jackals say something along the lines of it being important to find out who else may have known about these messages but kept quiet so that they could blow the whistle closer to the election. Which begs the question from whichever reporter they're talking to "Do you think it's possible that this story came from Democratic operatives who may have withheld information for political reasons?" and the weasel looks grave and says that they don't know, but it's possible and will have to be looked into.

Now, naturally, there's no evidence of any kind that this is even remotely possible. The only people that have even brought it up as a possibility are all Republican office-holders with some pretty big asses to cover. So that one can actually go down under finger pointing AND obfuscation. Since the only reason to even say something like that (without evidence of any kind) is to get the words "the democrats withheld information for political purposes" on TV as often as possible.

And Sean Hannity points the finger at Bill Clinton. We'll just skip that one. I think Sean Hannity secretly blames Bill Clinton for everything that's ever gone wrong in his life. I think he blames Clinton for the new Star Wars Trilogy, the Seahawks losing the Super Bowl and Hurricane Katrina. So, sure, Sean, whatever, Clinton gave Foley the idea that he could have sex with the pages and get away with it. What an asshole.

As far as the lies go, take your pick. That story about the democrats knowing about it and using it as an election issue would be flat-out lie if they had the guts to present it as something other than hypothetical. Hastert is pretty clearly lying about not remembering people telling him about this. Since more people come forward every day to say they told him about it. Plus, if you were the leader of a very narrow majority and you started hearing from people that one of the members you so desperately need to hang onto your majority is a possible child predator... well I guarantee you remember those conversations. You wake up during the night in a cold sweat after nightmares about those conversations. And everybody saying they support Haster
and don't think he should resign are pretty clearly lying as well.

You see, Hastert's already dead, he just doesn't know it yet. You don't come back from something like this. He might get re-elected, I don't even know if anyone's running against him, but he won't be Speaker next year. So, what all these people pledging to stand by him mean is that they'll stand by him until after the election. All they really want is to avoid having a second member of their leadership resign in disgrace in the same election cycle, this one practically the day before the election. But I think that's what will end up happening. They'll spend a week or so trying to run damage control, which will only make everyone madder. They're trying to spin the fact that they knew they had a child molester on their hands and they didn't do anything? That won't play well at all. Especially since at least one report says that one of these guys had to convince Foley to run again this year, AFTER they knew about these e-mails. So, yeah, my guess is within a week or two, three on the outside, there won't be any choice but for Hastert to step down as Speaker. However, even if holds on until November and the Republicans keep their majority, two big ifs, I think everyone realizes they're going to go in another direction with the Speakership next year.
Agghhhh. I'm done for now.

Captain Beefheart, over and out

The Fucking Bengals

So. The Bengals lost. They got killed. 38-13. I don't really want to talk about it. Just... there it is. I did win some kind of god damn raffle at the bar, but... whatever. We have a bye this week and then we're playing the 0-3 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, so maybe the coaches can figure out why everybody looked like they'd never played football before this past Sunday. Anyway, enough, I'm putting it behind me. It's one game, we're 3-1. I'm happy. Of course, the Ravens beat the Chargers so we're a game behind them now, but whatever. It's a long season. We play them twice. We can still forge our own destiny. Ugh. Moving on.

I would like to rescind all kudos to Senator John Warner and those other losers. The torture bill went through basically unchanged. They altered a couple of phrases in a couple of clauses and called it a day. Politics trumps whats best for the country one more time. So, now we have a bill that lets the President decide who's an enemy combatant and what acts constitute torture. Might he decide that everyone already in custody qualifies and that nothing that we've been doing the last 5 years is torture? Well, if you think about it, it's pretty clear that he already has, and that Congress has just given it the old rubber stamp. I wonder if it's even worth hoping that the Supreme Court will actually read the Constitution, aloud, to President Bush and Congress before shit-canning this new "law". It's too depressing for me to believe that they might actually let this stand, but... there are two Bush Jr. nominees on the Court. Plus Scalia and Thomas... You certainly can't take anything for granted these days.

Well, Bush now has the power to label absolutely anyone as an enemy combatant and to hold anyone he so labels forever. Of course they SAY that the standard for American citizens will be much higher than for foreigners, but they SAY a lot of fucking things that turn out later to be bullshit. So, I'm trying to think of the difference between whatever George Bush is now and a King. Congress will make any law he wants, and he can throw anyone he wants in jail forever, and even if you're not in jail he can spy on you... Is there anything a king can do that George can't?

Oh yes, he can't stay in office for life. We hope. Lone bright spot: The Republicans look like they may lose their shirt in the elections next month. never underestimate the Democrats ability to give back a gift election, but Dubya's approval ratings verge on the legendarily low and every time they start looking like they might creep back up, some new outrage surfaces to send them back to the cellar. Like this week's outrage: A Republican Congressman that was sending House Pages dirty e-mails and instant messages. And the Leadership knew about it. And they didn't do anything. People are calling for Hastert's resignation. Just so we're all clear on this, House Pages are high schoolers, and these particular pages were boys. The one that I've heard mentioned specifically was 16, but he's not the only one. So, a gay, pedophile Republican Congressman. And it's too late to get him off the ballot. He resigned, but his name has to stay on the ballot. If you vote for him, you'll actually be voting for someone else (presumably a non-gay, non-pedophile, although there seems to be no way to be sure) but you'll still have to check the box next to this guy's name. So, I think they might lose that seat.

Matt's worried that they're planning an October Surprise. He mentioned today that they're sending the fleet to the Iranian Coast. An October Invasion of Iran would certainly be a surprise. And ballsy, considering the two other wars they haven't even finished yet, but I'm not sure it would help them in the election. Matt says it may be some military action against Iran short of war. Problem with that though, is that we have troops in Iraq, directly west of Iran, and troops in Afghanistan, directly east of Iran. If we try to pull something flashy for election day, those troops become targets.

Somebody had better let the Iranians in on the fact that our attack (if it comes) will only be a bit of Election Day Theater, because otherwise the Middle East gets a whole lot uglier when the Iranians move in and take a huge chunk of Iraq away from us. I can't even hope that they're dumb enough to try that though, because of everyone that would die, including thousands of our troops, who didn't sign up for this.

And the way things have been going, it's going to be the Republicans that get an October Surprise. Although pretty much the only thing left that hasn't already happened to them is Godzilla rampaging through Detroit and then it coming out that the administration knew that Godzilla was thinking of going to Detroit but nothing was done to stop him because the Secretary of Homeland Security got busted by Dateline NBC trying to molest 11 year old boys and fled to Thailand. So, I'm cautiously optimistic about the elections next month. It would be nice to say goodbye to that douchebag, Lieberman, and all the ACTUAL Republican douchebags in the Congressional Leadership. Cross your fingers.

Big Aristotle don't stop, because Big Aristotle can't stop