Welcome Back, Halsey

So, like wow. I attended my high school reunion on Saturday and it was a trip and a half. There was the whole "wow I haven't seen a lot of these people for 10 years" thing, but there was also a kind of weird "this is exactly like it was back then" type thing. It honestly felt like I'd moved back 10 years somehow. I talked to more or less exactly the people I talked to back then, and I avoided exactly who I avoided back then. Everyone looked pretty much the same, with some notable exceptions. People were married, so it could be difficult to tell whether you were trying to put a name to an actual 10 year reunion-ee or a spouse. At least one couple actually brought a newborn to the reunion.
At about the point when Mills and Alex (and Sakura, who must have been about ready to strangle us) were leaving, I was hit by this big wave of existential angst and ennui. Or maybe not ennui but definitely angst. I was just looking around and the idea that nothing had really changed at all presented itself and kind of just took over. I mean, 10 years, for what? Had I made any real progress? Had anyone? They could drink without sneaking around and that seemed like the only difference between this party and dozens of others back in school That and I was invited to this one. Since everyone was invited. It was honestly just like high school. I had this feeling that nobody really knew who I was and no one cared that I was there (wearing my suit!!). Which was ridiculous, since several people I'd had no more than a nodding acquaintance with, and at least one person I was pretty confident I'd never even been introduced to, stopped me to say hi and to tell me that I hadn't changed at all. So, they at least knew who I was. I mean, I was wearing a nametag for crying out loud. Everyone knew who I was if they took the trouble to read it.
So, I'm really glad that Laurie and Stephanie came to the thing, because they're the ones that convinced me to stay. I was following Mills and Alex (and Sakura!) out past the fountain in Lake Anne Plaza, feeling really shitty and demoralized, and wanting to just go home. And Laurie and Steph basically talked me out of it. They got me to stay and if I hadn't stayed I wouldn't have gone on to Diana Boss' apartment after the reunion broke up. A group of us went and just hung out there for another few hours. And it was fine. It was actually kind of fun. The only person there I'd really been great friends with back in school was Laurie, and to a much lesser degree Reid. And to a degree even lesser than that Jen Sondag. I mean, honestly, they were more friends of friends. And okay, Lara Martin and I knew each other from elementary school, but we were more friendly than friends.
But that is why I'm so glad I stayed and went to this thing. Because they were all perfectly nice. We just chatted and reminisced, and it was really like we almost did have this kind of bond based on where we went to school ten years ago. Which really, it just now hit me as I wrote that, was what I was more expecting from the reunion generally. That was the disappointment. I didn't feel any connection to most of those people. And I expected to, or I expected them to and want to connect with me, or something.
And if I hadn't stayed and gone to Diana's I wouldn't have been invited to the Sondag residence for lunch the next day. And that really cemented it and I felt much, much better. Because I'd had this theory that the people in high school weren't as horrible as I'd thougtht at the time and that if I'd given them half a chance they would have included me in their reindeer games to a much greater degree than they did. And this proved me right. I mean, I was hardly an outcast, and this just served to show me that to the degree that I was exiled, it was a self-imposed exile. If I'd made an effort to get to know anyone I didn't already know.... anyway existential crisis averted. Although it's been replaced with a sort of regret that I missed out on the chance to have these people as real friends rather than "remember back in high school" reunion acquaintances. I'm thinking more of the Jen Sondags and the Diana Boss' here, since Reid really was a friend, even if he started out as a friend of a friend. Aghhh. So, to the Jen Sondags and Diana Boss' of the world... an apology. I didn't give you a chance to give me a chance, I sat in judgment on you and I absented myself from your society; and for that I am sorry. Not that I imagine you were heart-broken over it at the time, or even now, since I imagine I was kind of a jerk, but I feel like I was unfair, so I apologize.
And then AFTER lunch... I know crazy, right? I got home around 4, and at 4:30 Jason Coleman called. He was at Dulles with a 4 hour layover before he could fly on to Orlando. So, Monica, Rob, Mills and I piled into Mills' SUV and we went to pick him up. We had a very pleasant dinner at Ruby Tuesday and then we had to take him back to the airport, but I'm glad he had time and I'm glad he called. It's always nice to see friends. And he regaled us with tales of his globe-trotting and the quirks of other cultures. Sometimes I feel like Jason is a sort of reverse doppel-ganger of myself. We're so alike in so many ways, but he does everything I don't and he's everything I'm not. And vice-versa of course. Oh well, it's always nice to see him. Okay, that's all for today's entry. I havent' forgotten about the other things I promised, but they really need their own entries, or the whole entry system is going to break down. And then - CHAOS!!! So, let's just get to those in a future blog entry.

Brooklyn!!!

Big Aristotle, out.